I’m not big on holidays, but it’s February and I happen to have written some words for an intro to philosophy course final, with a subject matter that fits right at the intersection of romantic love and racial justice. I was asked to complete a closed reading of a quote from the book (which is extracting all the meaning you can only from the selected lines). Here goes:
“I believe that care is disruptive and world-bearing; it can open to ‘as well as possible’ configurations in a present that injures some more than others.”
Billy-Ray Belcourt, A History of my Brief Body
To me, this passage applies to romantic love and social justice. In fact, both are very much intertwined, as romantic love requires the merging of families and cultural histories. Therefore, a social responsibility comes with entering a romantic relationship.
I find this passage interesting because “care” is qualified as disruptive. Care is generally assigned to the feminine; it is soft, kind, considerate, and generally, care is community building rather than disruptive. This passage indicates that “care” is not simply a kind act; it is a responsibility and world-bearing, meaning a social responsibility. This begs the question: what does it mean to care for your neighbour? Over the summer of 2020, when social media activism (specifically on behalf of George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter movement) was at its peak, critics called into question the authenticity of this surge of activism. Rightfully so, many perceived a lot of the online activism to be a performance, a performance that was the result of the conversation about race becoming too big to ignore. Then came the pressure to show off one’s activism and dedication to the cause, which resulted in a policing of online activism. Eventually people pushed back against this policing, leading to the question of: are you doing enough? Or, how do you know if you are doing enough?
If care is a social responsibility and it is disruptive, then the answer may be that care demands some sort of political action that disrupts the status quo. Jumping on a bandwagon isn’t exactly disrupting the status quo. I want to be satisfied with the idea of “care” simply being kind in one’s daily interactions, however caring might mean saying uncomfortable truths, without waiting for the comfort of the cultural climate, caring might mean risking being ostracized for your opinion. In “a present that injures some more than others”, this definition of care is essential for social justice. Care in a socio-political context, then, is standing up for what is right no matter the circumstance or opposition (keeping in mind human imperfection).
In his book, A History of my Brief Body, Belcourt describes the process of falling in and out of love with Robert. When entering a new relationship, caring for your partner is opening yourself to a new, possibly challenging perspective (informed by family/upbringing, education, racial, sexual, gender identity and more), a new way of communicating (love language, frequency of contact, text vs. calls, etc.), and possibly a new culture. So, in a romantic sense, care is disruptive.
Care is understanding where your partner is coming from; it is understanding their life experience and how it shapes the person entering the relationship. This includes: mental and physical health, upbringing, socio-economic, political and cultural identity. It is world bearing to understand all the individuals and “worlds” that have shaped your partner’s identity. Care is world bearing, especially when entering a relationship with a person of a marginalized identity (whether you yourself are or not), because it is important to understand their fight in the world. Choosing a relationship with that person is choosing to stand with them in that fight against the world.
By caring for another individual, you are gifting them new life experiences (falling in love, appreciation, confidence/validation, etc.), opening to configurations of possibilities. It is also a mind opening experience for the person on the receiving end of such care. A relationship can also lead to insights about what is possible within a relationship or after the end of the relationship with a new partner. These insights can also lead to the realization of these possibilities. In a social justice context, care can lead to tangible wins, political gains by social movements, or it can offer insights and open society’s minds to possible aspirations for a better world and individual future.
Works Cited:
Belcourt, B. R. (2020). A history of my brief body. Penguin RandomHouse.